I was really struggling with a bit of an unstable emotional state over the past few weeks, in which I was tossed back and forth between anxiety, grief, depression, as well as anger. I had, of course, been somewhat explosive to my sister when we were cycling together (see my article Feeling unstable and stable at the same time). I had naturally expected that there would be attention for me and my anger, as I was used to in the clinical therapy I have had, and that we could talk for a while about why I was so explosive, but that wasn’t what happened at all. The reason for my anger was that with my original father and original sister, I always got the idea that they were more frugal with their materialistic stuff, than they were with me, and I’m mainly talking about my father, but I often argued with my sister about this too. For example, once when I accidentally spilled on her table, apparently that was a huge disaster, or when I bumped into a painting, or sat with my head against her wall so that there might be a stain against it. I had to be on my toes at times. With my father especially, who already got aggressive if I broke a glass while drying the dishes, for example. That’s the reason why this was a sensitive issue for me. And that’s why I became so furious a few weeks ago when my taken over sister made a comment that I shouldn’t ride my bike with my hands loose, because my father has yet to trade in his bike and nothing should happen to it. In hindsight, I shouldn’t have had such a problem with that, but some things had happened before that (like a nasty email I had received, and the problem of having to disappoint someone else) that made me angry. And all that anger that was not heard, or hardly heard, by those people to whom it was directed, came together and I directed at my twin sister, while cycling. That’s a pattern I’ve actually had all my life. In my family, my father always got aggressive when I was angry with him or my mother, so those feelings weren’t heard, and got constricted, giving me an identity problem, not knowing who I was. Meanwhile, I directed all my anger at my dear twin sister, who always got in my way horribly and with whom I always had to share my mother’s attention, at a stage when I wanted my mother for myself and couldn’t share her yet. Then when I was about 15 when I was venting my anger at my sister and she threw open the door to give me a furious response back, my father was suddenly at her door and he savagely slapped her in the face several times. Instead of limiting us, and giving us a time-out separately from each other, he aggressively slammed all the anger into her. This was an appalling trauma for me, and for my sister as well, although she denied it at times. And it was the reason I started to undermine my self-confidence, and not have a stable foundation. Partly because of previous times when my father was so aggressive, also at a young age, I was insecurely attached. And I really suffered because of this.
Now after so many years, I’ve worked through all my disorders. I do have a vulnerability, one that I wouldn’t have had to have, if my therapists hadn’t also made a big mistake. Anyway, I’ve accepted it. Also, my life has been threatened by the Antichrist entities, who take over bodies and are able to treat you more easily that way, so my consciousness and expressions are kept in balance. I have had to say goodbye to all my family members and friends, because they have taken over all of them. This is because I intervened too late when they indirectly informed me about the first take-over happening (see Section 2 of my story). This gave them the idea that I allow them to take over people, and as a result they took over everyone around me.
For a while I was horrified by the treatment these entities, which are now in the bodies of my family and friends, gave me. I no longer dared to do anything at all. And, of course, I was also mourning the death of all those original people. Now that I have let go of that, and I have made a start with daring to express my anger to these entities again, I get a little more resistance than the previous period in which they did support me quite a bit. This allows me to work towards a more loving state, because that is what these entities teach you. The opposition I receive consists of nasty mails, where my anger is usually dismissed, or where I am not seen at all, or understood. Using gaslighting, they turn the truth right around in my face, and this causes me to express my anger. But they also use techniques to calm me down afterwards. One such technique that I think was specifically meant for me, happened in this video by Richard Bruce, who I’m sure has read my site and has been instructed, to tell the things he tells in this video at exactly that moment.
Obviously, Richard Bruce has been taken over for quite some time. He left a video some time ago, titled: “Richard Bruce, moving on,” in which he announced that he would stop making videos, and that he would go back to work to make money. Something he viewed as the devil’s goal in earlier videos. Now he has also gone back to that, and is again posting daily videos in which he talks in a mocking and threatening tone to scare people mainly, which I do not appreciate. Still, he managed to calm me down with the video from the previous paragraph, after I had been angry at everyone around me for the past few weeks. He did this by threatening me. In his video, he portrays the Holy Spirit as a blond 15/16/17 year old teenager and states that anyone who contradicts this teenager with one word is sinning against the Holy Spirit. The Bible says, this is not forgiven by God. Sinning against the Father and Son may be forgiven, but not against the Holy Spirit. In his video he shows that he is hot for this Holy Spirit teenager of 15 by saying, “You know my saying: Fresh at 15”, and “I love blondes”, and also expresses his appreciation for a picture of some anime (Japanese cartoon) girl in a tight suit. Actually, he’s just trying to say that he finds a 15-year-old girl sexually mature enough for him to lust after and that she represents the Holy Spirit. And that you are not supposed to correct this Holy Spirit, because it is part of God, and you are not supposed to correct God. No, let a teenage girl call the shots and get horny over her! That is healthy! Jerk!
Of course, I always directed my anger at my sister, even when she was 15. That was the time when she was so damaged by my father, and I started to undermine my self-confidence because I saw what I had driven my sister to, and what my father’s very destructive reaction to that was. I often went after girls that I attached to in the way I did to my mother or sister. Now when Richard Bruce says that the Holy Spirit is a blonde teenage girl, I am reminded of my sister at the time when I was indirectly damaging her (via the agressive reaction of my father), and him saying that you cannot contradict this Holy Spirit, and saying that you will never be forgiven, made me despair and panic for a moment. I felt like I was on trial for my anger and that I had to repress it. I was very afraid that it would disappear and that I could become suicidal if I pushed it away, but eventually I was able to control it without pushing it away, and nothing was wrong. I then became extremely calm, and I eventually found inner balance again. So, that threatening language helped to regain control of my anger of the past few weeks.
Now, looking back on this, I’m thinking: what nonsense I have stepped into again. The Holy Spirit is really not a 15-year-old teenager, and it’s okay to be angry with your sister and she with you. Anyone can have the Holy Spirit. It is a state of consciousness. The Holy Spirit also has a negative pole as it were, and that is Lucifer, and represents feeding the spirit until it grows too big. Like Satan is the negative pole of the Son, and the Antichrist is the negative pole of the Father. So the Holy Spirit is an expansion balanced by the compression of the Son. If you are going to fight it, then you are sinning against the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is also sometimes called the “restrainer,” holding up the mirror on what not to do. In that sense, the interaction between my sister and me on the bike may seem like a case of, “Jesse is sinning against the Holy Spirit.” But it troubles me greatly, when people who killed my family suddenly start telling me what I specifically shouldn’t do, and can’t have any understanding of the past that is behind it while talking to me. Is the Holy Spirit the knife at my throat, taking from me the last bits of freedom I have? I am already in such a tremendously narrow prison. Self-control in this state already hurts so incredibly. I would love to have this Holy Spirit flowing through me myself, but unfortunately I am too muted to actually feel it.
The saying that you get one chance to do well in this world, and that it’s talking about the life you have now, and so most of humanity is thrown hopelessly into hell, I find disgusting. If that is the way of God, then I don’t accept that, because many people have not had a fair chance because of their pasts. And I can’t accept that, no matter how great a God you are in your own eyes. If God were like that, I do correct him, because to condemn people eternally to hell for a life where everything is more or less predetermined and you haven’t had a fair chance to have the right experiences is really so evil that no one should accept it. In that respect, my whole life was a stream of moments in which I had to “survive”. It is very Satanic how Richard Bruce makes himself small and dare not correct anyone above him, and then goes on to scold those “below” him. You often see this with Christians. They justify the genocides of God, and scold the ordinary person who expresses irritation or anger for once. Instead of talking to their fellow man as an equal, and finding out what kind of past someone has, and from that equal position being a source of inspiration for someone based on love, they speak hell and damnation and justify absolute murderousness. Disgusting it is!
Then he goes even further in his video, warning that our evil governments have nuclear weapons and “there’s more than that”, and that “a single person can wipe everything out”, and more of that crap. “So if you push them hard enough,” he says, “and you’re already making huge, huge mistakes… as I been saying, so don’t say you weren’t warned,” are also quotes from his video. He’s talking in a kind of mocking and fear-spreading tone about his fellow American citizens, but somehow it feels like he’s threatening me again as well! But if it was the intention of the ruling powers to exterminate us, they would have done it long ago. Read my article Is the Russia-Ukraine conflict coming to a climax? for information on how all governments are united and playing out a script, a big play, and on the lie of nuclear weapons.
Clearly, the taken over Richard Bruce is playing a corrupted version of the Christ figure, a clear Antichrist role. Still, his video helped me regain some balance when I was angry in recent weeks. If this was his intention, I thank him warmly. And if we are all so sinful, just let that (non-existent) nuclear bomb come soon. Richard Bruce probably won’t mourn it if we all die from it. After all, we deserve it, right!? Pfft! What a derangement! A Christian unworthy…!
