I felt increasingly energized last week. I started replying to the texts I get on Facebook, which are most definitely from the Antichrist entities (see my article Resisting discouragement) and I started expressing my anger. Furthermore, I wrote a few articles again, and that did feel good. But if you are not under control in this world, the Antichrist entities will come to you to show that they are the ones in control. Ultimately, they want to compress your soul to the point of destructiveness, so that you become free in your ego, regardless of how other people act. But for me, it feels like they just want me to implode. By constantly encouraging me, my power grows every time until I start expressing myself, and then somehow they have to control me again using threats, or a threatening visit from their taken over people. But that can only work a few times.
An example of such a threatening visit was the following: I got on the phone with someone I occasionally hung out with from the Activity Center at the mental health facility. And I told him honestly that I hadn’t agreed to meet with him because I don’t trust him very much. He asked if I could help him with his computer and I said no, because he won’t remember the things I teach him anyway, and then I can keep coming back again, and I don’t feel like that. But he has been taken over for some time, and I think the Antichrist entity that is in his body now can handle the computer just fine. So it’s just one big acting game that he is playing. Unfortunately, I wasn’t clear enough and he called again the next day, asking if he could come over now, along with a friend of his, who also has such a pleasant energy. But not really. Of course again I couldn’t set my limit and said yes. When they rang the bell and I opened, I barely recognized them. It was clear that they were still a bit in their Antichrist personality, but the longer they were with me, the more they resembled the original people that they were before they were taken over. But at first they looked like 2 gangster bosses! While they were with me, I nearly ran out of breath from the stress on me. Just by their presence they were already going heavily over my limits, but I couldn’t defend my limits properly, very unpleasant. So I feel really weak now, since they went by.
Furthermore, the guy on the phone told me that I had to make a choice. What kind of choice, he didn’t tell me, but again I took these words to heart.
As I lay in bed this week, I had the craziest sensations. I kept startling awake. It happened three times. And at one point someone stood in my room again, startling me again and causing me to flee from my bed. I don’t know what it is about that room, but I always get the craziest sensations when I sleep there. Such a stress it causes!
Also, my taken over father stopped by my house to bring something. He called ahead of time that he would be there in fifteen minutes. But then I did fall asleep somewhat. I dreamt that he gave a rock hard slap in my face, (the slap hurt), and then I was startled awake. I looked outside, there was my father, he was almost driving away, so I knocked on the window, and then he came back up. He said he hadn’t rang the doorbell. So maybe I had mistakenly seen that he was about to drive away, and he was instead just arriving. But the slap in my face at exactly that moment in my dream is just weird. These Antichrist entities can invade your dream and make you experience anything they want. It’s just psychological warfare.
Furthermore, I went for a bike ride with my taken over sister. I felt all the time that she was challenging my weaknesses. I then went along with that because I didn’t really feel the strength to say “no,” but the advantage of that is that you see someone’s true colors. She challenged me to bike even further, I said yes, and then after riding a few more kilometers, she came back to it, saying we didn’t have time after all. It was clear she was just fooling me and had thought I would say no or get angry. I was exhausted when I got back from this bike ride.
I have been dozing off for 2 days now! Nothing at all comes out of my hands, because the anxiety is just too high and therefore I linger in passivity. Whereas last week I was suddenly so active. That felt good, so I hope that comes back. It’s those constant changes in how I feel that make it difficult. Things impress me too much. And I’m also further pondering what choice that “gangster boss” guy meant. Now these Antichrist entities are, after criticizing my work, challenging me to start all over again with my website because they don’t think it’s good enough. And they want me to listen to this criticism and do better. Because you have to keep improving yourself, instead of wanting to improve others, they say. So they want to put me in a psychological prison even more, and I just can’t handle that. That very narrow path can certainly be handled by people who have experienced normal ego development: with them it doesn’t feel like a prison. But with me it feels like a prison, because I cannot experience my power fully. It hasn’t been allowed to exist, when I was young. And so the more they compress me, the worse I start to feel, and yes, then you rebel. And they don’t want that! The choice they give me is an impossible choice for me, since it’s either suffer untold suffering and break down and make impotent attempts to rewrite all my work, or resist and then get killed. A very fine choice that is. But not really.
And hear what they’re saying: “You have to keep improving yourself, instead of wanting to improve others.” While they themselves are constantly trying to improve me, nor do they look in the mirror. They do not realize that it is because of aggression and threats, that I am in such a state, but the only mode they have is to give me even more of the same. They are the most hypocritical creatures imaginable, and are now going to tell me how to live my life, otherwise it is the end of the story. They apparently want me to get very popular with improved supersonic works, otherwise they will take me over and then they will make themselves popular in this taken over state. Many websites and YouTube channels tell comforting or exciting lies. That scores tremendously! But I don’t intend to do that. At least, not consciously!
Furthermore, messages are now being posted all the time on Facebook saying, “In a few months, a miracle will happen. Claim it!” And more of those posts where you have to actively leave a message for it to come true, supposedly. And hundreds of people then respond with: “I claim it. Amen!” when they don’t really know what’s going to happen. I stay far away from it! It’s giving away your energy and your permission to something, which you don’t know exactly what it is. It’s stupid!
I’m pretty much at my limit now. I am very anxious! Being forced into an inhumane psychological prison! And the way to break free is getting harder and harder to sustain, and is punishable by death. I cannot let myself be forced into a prison. But I do want to take responsibility and do better. But I can’t when I feel this way. So yes, then you get another whining piece like this, where I’m talking again about how I feel and what all happened. Nobody really cares, but it’s the truth. I’d rather focus on things that really matter, but I’m just in too bad a place for that. And in the meantime, texts like “You are always responsible for your behavior, no matter how you feel!” pop up on Facebook. Tell that to those people who commit suicide, that they are responsible themselves. What incredible bastards those who post such texts are. Life compressed into a quote. Absolute bullshit! My heart goes out to the so many people who don’t feel good enough to do what is necessary, and only get more shit dumped on them by sick minds who think they are making some kind of Superman. It’s blind aggression in full action! I will continue to oppose this, if it is given to me. But then I’m afraid the end will come soon.
