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While I was sobbing again, I received a remarkable recommendation on YouTube, which reassured me that God looks after me.

I felt really bad for a while last night. A lot of grief again. Sobbing a lot about everything I have lost in my life, and when I think about how safe my life started out and how unsafe it feels now, it causes a lot of sadness. I often weep after the New Moon. While being in the middle of it, I cast my eye to the YouTube screen of Recommendations that was open. And I saw a video there entitled: “Please don’t die, please don’t cry”. Wow, that one really hits home. I click on it, and a slide presentation follows with some pictures, accompanied by the song ‘Breathe’ by Pink Floyd, from the album The Dark Side of the Moon, very funny after I just posted another text about the Moon. YouTube’s recommendations work in mysterious ways. The description of the video says, “You can do this! Every image shown is you.” That, too, hit home for a moment. It comforted me right away.

I have read that “Breathe” is a song in which a newborn is addressed by an older man. And so it fits perfectly with the safe memories that come up during my grief. On this site (PDF1 | PDF2) you can view interpretations of the lyrics, from people who have listened to the song. I have also shown the so-called bad interpretations in these PDFs, because I think that listening to songs is not necessarily about the interpretation of the lyricist, but it is perfectly normal for you to project your own things in the words. If we take out the second interpretation, which states that the album is an essay about things that make you crazy (hence the title of the album ‘The Dark Side of the Moon’, the Moon is often associated with insanity), we see that Breathe is about Work. Because Work can drive you crazy!

The lyrics with which the song begins are wonderful advice. The first thing a baby must do to begin life outside of its mother. “Breathe, breathe in the air.” And very appropriate now that there are rumors about mandatory face masks (mouth diapers) again, here in the Netherlands.
”Leave, don’t leave me”, says that it is important to go your own way, but expresses hope that the bonds therein are preserved. Very important if you ask me! I have been able to see in my life what happens when you break the bonds inside yourself, purely out of survival. And it must be terrible for a parent to experience that, coming from their own child.

We see in the lyrics the following lines: “Run, rabbit, run. Dig that hole, forget the sun. When at last the work is done. Don’t sit down, it’s time to dig another one.” I can apply this back to my life, and in my case is about continuing to produce to stay alive. As I’ve said before, just like my family, friends and acquaintances, I will be taken over as long as I don’t keep producing. It is work, which you might think makes you a slave, but which you might also think: it is my responsibility. Sometimes then you have to let go of the fun stuff, and focus completely on this task. Even if your limitations make it difficult. After all, I am basically unfit for Work, because of my mental state.

We also see in the lyrics the following lines: “Long you live and high you fly, But only if you ride the tide” This could literally be about the tide, and the phases of the Moon. When it is New Moon as it was a few days ago, it is time to catch up. In the course of time or the tide, you then start working out your goals again, and with the Full Moon it’s time to release everything again. These cycles sometimes work very strongly in people’s behavior and feelings, although the key is to become independent of this, but that’s my opinion.

In one of the interpretations on the aforementioned website, on page 2 (PDF2) someone writes that the song is about slavery. His interpretation is very poorly reviewd by others, but I find it very apt. “Racing to an early grave means to release yourself from all the torment and hard labor,” he states, and I understand exactly what he means, and why this song came my way when I was grieving. Many people will say again that it’s a coincidence, but I don’t believe in coincidences at all. Everything has a reason. And I am completely reassured by this video with the remarkable title, the remarkable description, and the remarkable song, that God does care about me…