I’m pissed off! YouTube wants to get rid of me. Got a notification a few weeks ago that my content violates the terms of service. I thought: well, I’ll just remove everything. At least I still have my regular website. So I removed everything. But yesterday I got another strike that a video I’ve long since removed violates the terms of service. The nerve they have. Can’t post anything for a week now. Even if there is nothing on your channel, they make you a target of their bullying tactics and harassment. And I can’t object because I removed the video. Yes, before getting the strike. So that second strike is for a video that wasn’t even on YouTube. They gaslighted me completely and actually accused ME of bullying and intimidation. I suspect they have programmed the strikes in on certain dates, with more to follow soon, on non-existent videos that were on my channel earlier, causing me to lose my YouTube channel, with all my subscriptions and such. Very indecent of them. But hey, you have to deal with that kind of abuse when you tell the truth. Bastards! The truth must not be told. Slowly they take all your content channels away from you, until you are completely silenced. And meanwhile they compress your anger about it, so that you become completely numb. And then they tell you that now is the time to speak your heart. Because they haven’t gotten enough love from me yet. Filthy energy-suckers. I don’t get it either. Every time I make a move, it is suppressed, and meanwhile they act all sweet. Maybe I should let go of my ego, but that is only possible when your ego is completely intact. And that is not the case with me. So then I’m resisting again, as this text shows you.
Meanwhile I feel very bad! My anger becomes thinner and thinner. And the clamp I’m in is getting tighter, and more unpleasant. I felt relatively good for several weeks, and I got very excited, and then they started triggering me again, so I crawl back into my shell. I can stand it better and better, and could laugh about it, but after a few days it still has a compressive effect again, and the space I have in my mind gets smaller and smaller. Meanwhile, they are using the texts on Facebook (see my previous articles) to encourage me to go public with my information in other ways. That they want me to take back my power, and be brave. That you can’t overcome fear if you stay in your comfort zone. But I think they are retarded, because apparently they still haven’t figured out how I feel. But apparently I shouldn’t pay attention to my feelings, and just act, which I don’t feel up to at all. If they are already intimidating me while I have a passive attitude, what would it even be when I adopt an active attitude? And then they say you are ‘under the blood’, which means you are protected. Then why the 2 YouTube strikes? I removed everything after the first one, because it was still old content, which I had also removed from my website much earlier, and had replaced with new differently worded content, so that I don’t scare people unnecessarily, for which I have taken responsibility. But if I delete everything, and then they come up with a strike for content that’s not even on there anymore, what do they even want from me? It’s very annoying. Just communicate using words, instead of those weird actions every time. I can’t do anything with this pushing and pulling at all. Everything can be discussed, but this is just fat childish of them. And meanwhile I try to take as much responsibility as possible. I expect the same from them and I don’t accept this at all. I also have the idea that they want me to start all over again if I don’t succeed immediately. It’s all about success. And reaching as many people as possible, but I honestly don’t care how many people I reach. Most of them don’t accept the content anyway. And I’m not at all interested in what people think about it. I don’t care about that. When your content is accepted, it’s usually untrue, when it isn’t accepted, it is true. A text on Facebook said the following: that by losing your soul, you become evil, and that by losing your spirit, you also become evil. And that by losing both soul and spirit, you suddenly become accepted by everyone. Or something like that. Yes, I can imagine it very well. And I would very much like to be independent of another person’s acceptance, but unfortunately have to admit that I am always in a prison, when physically people are around. And that then I cannot be myself anymore. I then have a kind of tacit agreement with the people around me that I don’t get angry, and this I hate very much. Because anger is not necessarily an attack. It is also the roots for your passions, and for your ability to tell the truth.
It’s difficult as well, that the Satanic and Antichrist entities have taught me more and more to give space to my negative opposition, but I have somewhat lost my own voice in that. Every time I hope to find my voice again, and I always do, but the moment I do, they trigger me again, upon which I crawl back into my shell for a while. I haven’t written any articles for months now, and do almost nothing to make my voice heard. And every time they encourage me to do it anyway, through those Facebook texts. But I have to find the courage again every time I’ve crawled into my shell due to their triggers. And meanwhile, every time I feel so bad, I sit and wait until I gather the courage or inspiration to do something. It’s driving me crazy. And my strength is less and less allowed to exist. And the compulsiveness is increasing more and more. When I’m among people, read: among taken over people, I’m in constant battle in my mind. A negative thought comes, it is not allowed to exist, and then I correct myself. And this feels like I’m not allowed to just ‘be’. It is an unhealthy condition. Because every time I correct myself, it takes away my power. What a rotten disease it is that I suffer from. They sure can dream on, with those Facebook texts, I just live my life the way I want to. In a very cramped prison, but all in all still quite content, because there are still plenty of things worth living…!
