During the years that I was recovering from the disastrous part-time therapy, I started to read a lot. In all those years that I had therapy, I had learned a lot, but it was knowledge that you didn’t often hear about in education or the media, for example. As a result, I did not recognize myself in the daily information in the media and society. I started asking critical questions about everything I had been taught. Was it right that I believed certain things that I did? It basically came down to the fact that I realized that I was just repeating what other people said in many areas. I resented this.
I read more and more about the things that could explain my experiences in therapy. And I went further and further in my search for the truth, and saw that an awful lot of lies were being upheld. And few people seemed to realize it. I wanted to find out the nature of reality and critically examine my own ideas. I loved nothing more than reading as many different books as possible. It started with books about near-death experiences, then came the books on physics (quantum physics), morphogenetic fields, psychology (both popular magazines and more obscure psychology), then books on out-of-body experiences, books on plasma and cell water in the plasma state, biophotons, esoteric things like auras, then parapsychology, and books on aliens and conspiracies, and lastly Rudolf Steiner. I went further and further and dove right into my fears and did not let myself be stopped by boundaries, as far as the nature of the subjects was concerned, because the truth does not care about people’s boundaries. I started to investigate everything I had previously rejected, to see if I had been justified in my rejection. I usually found large amounts of information, and my rejection turned out to be completely unfounded.
I became aware that many newer insights have not yet made it into the mainstream at all, or that information is even deliberately kept from the mainstream. In many fields, there is suppressed information! And there is suppressed religion, as well as suppressed science, suppressed political views and so on. I began to see that this is a coordinated attempt to keep real knowledge from the common people. By thinking integrally, I was able to discover more real truths of the world. And I found that most of the things I had learned before were simply lies.
During that time, I came across videos of David Icke on YouTube for the first time. At first, I didn’t understand what he was talking about, but I didn’t want to dismiss him before I understood what he was trying to say. He talked about how the Moon was hollow and that aliens lived there who were watching the Earth. That the Moon had been placed in exactly that spot by aliens, that it appeared to be the same size as our Sun. And that a race of interdimensional reptilian aliens were controlling this world from behind the scenes. Of course, it was all completely crazy, but I wasn’t going to dismiss it until I had investigated it myself. I ordered books such as Children of the Matrix Children of the Matrix, Remember who you are, and The Perception Deception (Volume 1 | Volume 2), incredibly thick books with incredible amounts of evidence that the elite of this world are conspiring and committing criminal acts to work as quickly as possible towards a tyrannical globalist world order in which the elite literally turn against the people. But he presented also some evidence for reptilian aliens, who, according to him, are at the top of the food chain and use the Earth as a farm with humans as their livestock, whom they tempt from invisible dimensions into immoral acts and then devour as punishment in the afterlife once they have died.
David Icke also said that these reptilian aliens pose as humans and that you never know who you are dealing with. They are said to have such far-reaching control over matter that they can change their form, which is called shapeshifting. They supposedly can only retain their human form if they can drink enough blood and devour people.
David Icke also interviewed Arizona Wilder, who said that the British royal family, as well as many other well-known people, are reptilian aliens and that she has been to meetings at specific castles where they perform rituals and devour people (and babies). She provides many details in this interview. David Icke also interviewed Credo Mutwa, an African Zulu healer who spoke about the Chitauri, an extraterrestrial race of reptilian creatures that devour people and live underground.
After I had just read these books by David Icke, I once had a dream in which I was walking down the street and suddenly something jumped on me and held me in a stranglehold. I could hardly breathe and tried to resist, which was hardly possible, until I managed to fight the creature off with all my might. It was a small grey alien, one of those classic grey aliens with those big black almond-shaped eyes. The moment I looked him in the eye, he brought his bony finger to his mouth and made a ssssshhhttt gesture (Image 1). It was clear to me that I was not allowed to talk about the things I knew.
Image 1
Grey alien making a 'ssssshhhttt gesture'
I had to look into these theories, because somehow I myself had become increasingly consumed by everything I had been through and was suppressing my instincts, my aggression. This aggression, according to scientists, originates in the human reptilian brain, the deepest parts of our brain (brain stem) where instinctive behavior is regulated. So it made sense that I started projecting these rejected parts outward and wanted to read about these reptilian aliens.
I continued to delve deeper into these theories by watching the videos of Dan Winter about the extraterrestrial origin of our DNA. And a whole new world opened up to me. I also came across the work of Donald Marshall for the first time, who talks about how the elite use cloning. Dolly the sheep as we know her is a form of reduplication, but there is another form of cloning that they use for people called deduplication, in which people do not grow up from an early age, but rather people’s bodies are grown in large fluid tanks at a very rapid pace. He also told me about vril aliens, a species of reptilian aliens with a protrusion (proboscis) on their heads that they use to drill through their victims’ eyes to suck out their brains, leaving the victim under the complete control of these vril powers, who ultimately want to establish world domination. All famous people or people who reveal too much of the truth are under the control of these powers and have therefore effectively been taken over. This was the scariest information I had read to date. And it was described in such detail on Marshall’s site that it triggered my fear to a great extent.
It would later become clear that all these subjects I delved into were exaggeratedly scary lies that obscured the real truth. What was true on one level later turned out to be completely untrue on a higher level, but I would only find that out much later. In any case, it was an interesting and exciting journey of discovery, and I really enjoyed it. And I always kept all this information and what I had learned to myself.
Finally, in Rudolf Steiner’s work, I read about the various evil forces at work on Earth: Lucifer, Ahriman and the Asuras. I call them Lucifer, Satan and the Antichrist because those are the devil names we are most familiar with here in the West, but there is a difference between these three names. Those who walk the middle path between the two evil extremes of Lucifer (inner expansion) and Ahriman/Satan (inner compression) walk the path of the inner Christ. This is esoteric Christianity and has nothing to do with the exoteric Christ that you are taught about in many churches. No, this is about your psychological state and your state of consciousness. Those who follow the path of the inner Christ and, with the help of the truth, confront injustice and unravel secrets, can face the Asuras, or Antichrist, who peel away layers of your ego through their destructively compressive treatment, to ultimately free you within your ego. And super strong! I will elaborate on this in the first two chapters of Section 3.
Little did I know that my intention to learn the truth would ultimately make me a threat to the same occult groups I had read about in all those books…
