I am ready to go back home. A few months ago, an accident occurred at exactly the right time in my life which caused me to spend some time with my parents who are taken over by Antichrist entities. (Do view my earlier articles as well). Just when I was somewhat losing the perception of my roots due to all the things that had happened in my life, I fell by bike and the impending loss of my roots was translated into something physical, the breaking of my kneecap, which temporarily prevented me from walking, very symbolic of the loss of my roots, and I was forced to stay with my parents for 8 weeks, where my emotional roots are, and I would spend these 8 weeks doing my best to rediscover them again. I can only say that the start has been made and I have also recovered sufficiently from my knee and I can now return home.
For me to rediscover my roots again, it was important to learn to express myself again and finding my lower emotions in connection with my parents again. Because my parents have been taken over, they now react differently to me than my original parents. They can handle it better when I express my anger, but they are more distant than my original parents. With my father, you can regularly feel the cold energy of the Dragon Soul that has taken control of my father’s mind. With my mother it is a lot less so.
I have had several clashes with my father and mother over the past 8 weeks. One time my father was incredibly laconic about the slaps in his face he had received from his father in the past. He acted as if it had done nothing to him and ignored the emotional pain that it evokes when your own father repeatedly slaps you in the face as a child, while you’re actually too young to be able to cope with it. I know that this has done a lot to my father, and hearing him (the Dragon Soul who took him over) talk about it so indifferently hit me like a bomb, so I confronted him and told him that I had to pay the price for the fact that those slaps allegedly did nothing to him, because he later transferred the problem to me in an even more violent form through his aggressive behavior, for which my original father apologized while he was still alive and for which my original father was very sorry. This all comes up while he is acting so indifferent and after I confront him, I start crying. My taken over father replies that he is sorry and suddenly he says that he was afraid of his father and that is why he always tried so hard for his parents. The switching he does between the role of my father and the role of this aggressive, pain-denying Dragon soul is incredible. But whoever confronts a Dragon sometimes dies, the taken-over Jordan Peterson once said on a Joe Rogan show.
Later, at night, I feel another psychic attack on me taking place! Without anyone around, doing so. These Antichrist dragons will think: he can’t be controlled by the taken over people around him anymore, so we will now make a direct “wireless” attack on his mind, something that started with the Do or Die instruction I received: please read my article And suddenly, the pressure increases… for this.
At Christmas, my brother and his wife and children come to visit. My brother’s children clearly keep me at a distance, while I enjoy connecting with them. During a walk with my father, I ask him for advice on how to deal with this. He says, “Above all, don’t impose yourself!” … As if I am imposing myself! It’s like they are projecting the dangerousness of their own Dragon Souls onto me! I just want to establish normal contact but every attempt of mine is rejected, by two children for crying out loud, and instead of going into my parental role and teaching them something, I drop out and keep aloof while the rest are having fun with each other. My brother is behaving like a 16-year-old boy. I haven’t seen that in a long time. Clearly he is in his ‘free child’ mode, something that was loosened up when the Dragon Soul took control of my original brother’s mind. This is an aggressive, immature state, where he and the others very subtly shut me out and only care about their own fun. When I make contact, they give me short answers, or they glaringly ignore me. Too busy behaving like children. At such times it is very clear that they have been taken over.
My mother can also be a bit annoying, but of a slightly different nature. Namely, she always obsessively does what she thinks I want, even though it is not what I want. I repeatedly react with irritation. The next day she passive-aggressively ignores me because she is clearly disappointed in me. The tension mounts with me all that day and I begin to boil.
In the evening, I get a very indifferent response from my father to a concerned question to which I jump out of my skin and old hurts surface. At that point I clearly told him my opinion of his behavior, with charge, and I haven’t done that for a long time. I am actually satisfied with it. Later he comes back to it and we talk about it and also about the rest of the day. I tell him that with me it keeps rising and then it keeps coming out in my outbursts. The more often I express myself, the less violently I lash out and the more I feel that I am heard and seen. Listening to me also provides a benefit for those around me: that I adapt more easily afterwards.
One evening my father turns off the lights in the living room when he goes to sleep, while I am not yet going to sleep. I tell him I don’t like that, to which he gets angry and says we’re all going to sleep now, and it’s “end of story,” even though he knows I hate that, even though I’ve been adapting to their rhythm for weeks. I get angry again, to which he pretends to be the victim. I confront that too. Later he apologizes again. Once in bed I feel another psychic attack being made on me, because confronting Dragons is dangerous, especially if you don’t listen to their reaction to your confrontation. By listening, you can develop further and the hardness you taught yourself in contact can turn into softness. Not softness like a soft egg, but lived-through softness, meekness, but of the positive kind!
Later there was another confrontation with my father, because he suddenly had no idea how many years my brother and my sister and I differ in age. I got angry and told him that at such times I see evidence that he is just an imposter playing the role of my father. Something I am very sure of, but which of course he denies. The liar.
Meanwhile, the desperately intrusive texts on Facebook continue and often get to me. Still, I read them and sometimes feel a need for them. Perhaps I learn something from them. But after first being put in a small prison in my life and then reading texts like, “you are always responsible for your behavior, no matter what another person does, and no matter how you feel,” which narcissists often use to justify their own negative part in your emotional state; it really gets to me. Especially when aggression is brought into play by the other person, the other person is the one responsible, and they knew that in the clinic where I was once admitted. There they encouraged your anger and the other person in your system was responsible when you were angry. Attention was then paid to the anger to find out who it had once started with, so that the people around you were exonerated and self-insight developed, and in later therapies it was then possible to work towards being more responsible. So there were a lot of confrontations stemming from care aimed at your therapy mates and you could really put your anger into it.
The texts on Facebook also want to teach me that if another person does something I find annoying, I should immediately break off contact, because from now on I will only allow positive things, or something like that. That would supposedly be growth then. I knew a guy like that once too. Couldn’t stand it if I told the truth, no, everything had to be posi tive! Terrible. If I do something wrong, I also want people to tell me. It can be negative, but you can learn from that and I decide what to do with it and certainly don’t let them force me.
On the other hand, those texts on Facebook seem to tell that I should always give another person love, and be nice, no matter what another person does to me! They seem to spin it as saying that if someone mistreats you, you should be especially nice and respectful, even if you boil inside, and I think that’s nonsense. If you frustrate me, I’ll tell you! Nice and respectful doesn’t mean you have to accept everything as a doormat. But that’s what I thought for a while anyway. Many people say nothing and then try to vent their frustration by exercising a lot or having sex. But then the anger doesn’t get to the right place and you avoid the possible reaction of another person, which you can actually use to become better yourself. I used to direct the aggression against other people. Now I try to use the aggression in favor of myself, although that is not always easy, because in this process I have been damaged quite a bit, so I am still in that little prison. In those texts on Facebook it is said that I am the only one who can change that and that I am the one responsible for that, but it is such toxic bullshit, when you can no longer really grow because of the actions of certain important people in your life. How I feel is unlivable for many people. Because it has gradually gotten worse and worse, I can bear it, but anyone who feels what I feel all at once, commits acute suicide! That is an unrepairable state. Whoever has never been allowed to be angry in his youth will not be able to forgive his parents in later life and at the same time stand up as a courageous truth-teller! No, for that you need the experience of your aggressive instincts as well. My challenge is to speak up and stand up in spite of this prison-like state I’m in, but it’s very difficult, when you don’t actually feel it!
I am going back to my own home tomorrow…. My parents have helped me very much in recent months. So I am very grateful to them. Yesterday I had a bunch of flowers delivered to them and they deserve it! Yet I also have to think of my real parents, how they were before they were taken over. I miss the warm attention they could often have for you, and I miss knowing that they were the ones I grew up with. And the same goes for my dear sister and brother. I can’t let their deaths be for nothing, that’s for sure. So I’m going to think deep about what it is, that I actually want now, when I’m back home….
