Last Friday, my taken over sister sent me a picture of her and my taken over brother, both smiling widely. They went to do something fun together. I felt left out, and it reminded me of the moments I used to have when I was young and my brother and sister were talking “pop culture” to each other. With me watching, lonely, and cut off from my feelings. It reminded me of the moments when I was angry, and the whole family turned on me. Very unpleasant, and so I had no desire to visit them the following day, and I said so very frankly. Moreover, none of them support me in my writing, they completely ignore it. So another reason why I feel “different”. Had they not been taken over, my family would most certainly not have been able to handle all that I write down in these articles, but since they were taken over, they have just completely ignored it. For years. They never ask about it either. Never a compliment. Never a conversation about it. Because then they have to actively lie to me again, that they aren’t taken over and more of that nonsense, while their personality is completely different from when they were not taken over. I’m sick of it. Another day went by, and my mother invited me over for coffee with them. I was just awake, not yet clearly feeling my limit (for that I really need to be up for a while anyway) and so I said yes right away. When I was with them, we got into a discussion about something, but they were again sabotaging things with their misunderstanding and lies. That could be a coincidence, but it wasn’t. When I got home, I felt horrible again. Sadness, anger, or wasn’t it? It seems like I can’t go anywhere. I’m unable to grief, because there is no strength left behind which I can put behind my crying. And I’m only able to feel my anger for a short moment, and then I start expressing myself on Facebook, at all the inspirational quotes I get. Right away I got another quote, telling me. “Don’t fuck with me! I have power beyond what you can imagine!” or something like that. Which can refer to their power, with which they threaten me, but can also refer to my possible power, as a kind of encouragement. Or it has nothing to do with me at all, but I don’t think so. Because they can figure out exactly who gets what messages with this “Suggested for you” category, and if someone has delusions of reference, they deal with it by saying all kinds of things to you that apply to you, with their cowardly conspiracy of retarded Antichrist figures. But it’s always to help you and to teach you something! They tell you. Unfortunately, it puts me in a lot of pain that has been in my system all my life.
Pain must always be administered proportionally to teach someone something. A child who cannot walk is in pain when he realizes he cannot walk yet and he sees everyone around him walking, but it encourages him to learn to walk. Pain is necessary, but always in proportion. Introducing a child to too much pain when they are young can be disastrous. Damage occurs, and the child cannot go through healthy development. The wound thus inflicted on a person may result in sinning in later life, again and again, just to dampen the pain. You may become aggressive, or seek refuge in sex, food, or other pleasures. But if you resist this pain, and therefore the pain in the world, you can come to face the Antichrist entities. And then you are totally screwed, because they try to take all your sins from you, which makes the pain even greater. Which makes you make even more mistakes. That’s why it’s so important that parents don’t prevent their children from coming to God, which doesn’t mean anything other than developing them into people who move within the moral order that’s present on Earth. This is not done by force, but by a gentle, increasingly firm hand.
This evening I continued to tell my opinion on social media. Which again increased the threats. All I do is speak my mind and expose the occasional clown. Surely my right, considering what these entities have done to me. I still can’t see that they helped me, because how I feel is so awful. Why wasn’t I allowed to just stand still in my development and live out my life with my family in a harmonious way. I now feel like a little dog that has to do tricks for these entities. And then they are going to judge me for it. Terrible! Then I get a video on Facebook of a screaming man singing a song that he posts on social media. (Can’t share Facebook videos, unfortunately). His song is about “venting on social media” (that you should definitely not do that) and “put down your phone.” “There are more constructive ways!” he shouts into the camera. No, we should all just exercise, and meet new people, and so on. All those things that “healthy” people do! All those things you have to do if you want to appear healthy? However, it absolutely does not mean you are healthy! Well, above all, we all have to be 100% constructive. As if anyone ever listened to that with me. The question is why the guy with that song thinks he has to scream into the camera, and why he posts it on social media if that is so wrong in his eyes?
The most constructive people, sometimes have a dark side too. I watch those reallife documentaries every now and then about murders that have been committed, and you see the most correct guys being brought in for questioning. Very well-behaved. Sometimes from very religious backgrounds, where there was no room to disobey or be angry and they were in no way listened to. Yes, and that starts to fester. Then they can just sneak up behind your back and kill somebody, just to be someone. They then tell you how they were abused. And the voice-over is always saying that there is no proof, because the parents are such nice people! No, such things just happen randomly?! Ridiculous. The killer is described as a “zero” and good qualities he had are completely negated. And the parents as absolute “tens” who did nothing wrong. Well, as an adult you are responsible yourself huh! But not every adult is an adult, and once you have an urge to kill, it is not easy to put it away without help.
These Antichrist entities that threaten me want to pretend that every adult is 100% responsible for their behavior. But most people have a lot of baggage from childhood! And therefore often lack the right tools. If you are not made aware of this, there is nothing you can do about ending up in certain situations. There was a girl in my therapy who had been raped all her life. And it was a pattern that she kept dealing with people who were going to rape her in the long run. She just had antennae for these people. She chose to go to therapy, but there just has to be a place for you. Your problem has to be bad enough, of course, or there are 20 others who they would rather help. Unfortunate circumstances can make anyone a perpetrator or a victim. People who say, “I was raised in very unfortunate circumstances, but now I am a successful winner!” All I can say about that is that those circumstances were not so unfortunate at all but that everything was probably just fine in its place. Not all misfortune actually damages. And further: not to mention the successful winners which are complete idiots. Some people have the urge to step out of an unhappy environment and make different choices, and they proudly pat themselves on the back that they have fought their way out of the unhappy world, but what causes one person to be able to do that, and another not at all? In my opinion, a right combination of experiences, positive and negative.
Meanwhile, I come across another saying on Facebook that comes across as threatening: “It’s my turn darling, now you just watch and learn!” As if it is now the turn of these Antichrist entities that are taking over people, to take me over, and I supposedly remain in my body, so to speak, while they take me over, but them having the actual control. And then I have to learn how to do better. But I’ll make sure, that’s not going to happen, ‘cause it won’t! They are merely describing their evil asses coming into the body of my family and friends and actually learning how to be good, according to the memories of my family and friends. And you better stay away from other people than me, too, because you are making a mess by killing everyone around me! And then you expect me to approve and become a monster like you. No, thank you! I never wanted that, and I never will, no matter how much you sometimes try to rub in that I am the monster….
