It seems that after 8 weeks of being with my parents, and now being back in my own home, I am trying to let go of my parents again, which is accompanied by an expression of emotions. Today, after being at home for 5 days, I was now at my taken over parents’ place for dinner, and my taken over sister was there too. And boy, what an incredible drama again. And of course, I am again the culprit in this one. We went to play a game of rummikub. Last week, I pretended that every tile had to be straight, and placing each set of tiles exactly straight above of each other. This was a kind of feigned compulsion on my part, purely to tease a little and mock my old self, who often used to really do that. Today my father did exactly the same thing. Layed everything exactly straight, his series exactly straight on top of each other. And of course I felt attacked again, in terms of my identity. Because I hate it, when someone imitates me, because then I no longer distinguish myself, and I become invisible. I’m just sure my taken over father did this on purpose, as yet another way to “treat” me further, which is what these taken over entities do. (Rudolf Steiner writes about these Asuric, or Antichrist entities). They kill my original family, by taking over their bodies so they can treat you, because they find you the dangerous one. So I said to my father, “Are you doing that on purpose now? Are you peeling layers of my ego again? You really are energy eaters!” Well, and then I had done it. My mother acted that she kept bursting into tears. My father went silent and pitiful looking ahead. And my sister started talking down to me, just until I showed I was chill. Because that’s what they pay attention to. Whether you let it go. And I can let it go just fine, but there will be an article. Well, I put everything on the table. I told them I don’t believe them when they say they haven’t been taken over. And I have said that I think they are imposters. To which they then asked why I still choose to eat with them. To that I replied that it’s not black and white. Their energy is different, but they show the same habits as my original family. And yes, I have a lot of trouble letting go of that. Because I love that piece a lot too. But tis actually the first time I could come out so openly about what I felt. But it upsets everyone around me, or so they act. I know that’s just drama, but I do believe that they can clearly feel what my original family would have felt, so I also see my original family’s reactions in them. After all, they could never have handled the fact that I put my site online, and started talking about these things. That would have destroyed them. And that’s why they were replaced, ‘cause they want you to talk about these things, to accelerate devolepment of mankind.
My sister had the idea that I consist of two people, one who is very friendly to their faces, and one who writes all kinds of things about them behind their backs. Excuse me, ím made up of 2 people? She turns it around exactly. It was constant gaslighting. And I wouldn’t realize what I was doing to them! They have taken responsibility for zero comma zero things, but keep telling me all the time that my reaction is too intense. No, my reaction isn’t too intense. It is perfectly fine in place, but they spin it so that they don’t know about anything, don’t realize that they have been taken over, and that they are still the same. It is absolute Dragon shit. All my life, no one respected my boundaries. Then, when I subsequently got angry, they disapproved it very agressively, even before I could handle it. And now they say MY reaction is too intense and I don’t know what I’m doing to them! My father also said that he thinks the atmosphere is really important and you don’t do this to each other, and that while he does everything to ruin the atmosphere, and does nothing to get the atmosphere right again. The only thing he does is supposedly being quiet and defeated. And I don’t care about the atmosphere, if in the meantime I feel like I’m going to implode Fuck off with your ‘atmosphere’. And my mother is whining all the time. And my sister, after talking to me, did the same thing: being silent and looking defeated. They ruin the atmosphere themselves! Why is it always such a fucking big thing when I express my distrust. Just give someone attention for their anger, and show that you don’t mean any harm. But it’s because of their vibe, that my distrust becomes the biggest thing. My father has never listened to when you find something annoying, and meanwhile he says: “we agreed that we would talk to each other about everything huh!” I don’t accept that he doesn’t change his behavior when I find something annoying. He does his own way all day long, just like I did when I came to the clinical therapy in 2003 (read Section 1), about which I immediately got public comments in front of everyone. I have since then changed my behavior. And I expect the same from others, otherwise it’s end of the story. Then I don’t feel like hanging out with them at all anymore. With playing Rummikub he imitated me exactly, which pissed me off. And when we walk outside together to give my knee some exercise, he walks next to me in exactly the same pace as I do. Left leg forward with me is left leg forward with him, and right leg forward with me is right leg forward with him. Maddening! He is so focused on me. And I’ve had that myself, and I know how it comes about. And I can’t possibly see it as something evil, but I do find it annoying. Always my father used to agree with me. Until he didn’t agree with me, then he started forcing me and hitting me. Now when my father just says something to me, it’s like he crawls into me, invades me, it’s horrible. I want him to stay in his own space (emotional space, I mean), and me in my own space, but he always seems to want to share the emotional space with you. Yuck.
And these entities that have taken over my original family are using their behavior and emotions, to effect a change in me. I said to my sister, “it’s positive that the two Jesse’s that you think are there (which she’s actually right about) are finally coming together, that’s quite a progress huh?!” And it is! Because what I’m saying here is exactly the same thing I told them face to face, tonight. And I stand by that. And yes, it may be that they feel the emotions of my parents and sister now, and that won’t be easy, but I hope that that will initiate a change in them as well. That they also learn to see that this is absolutely not the way to “treat” people. But that is probably wishful thinking on my part.
After I have written all this down, and go watch some TV, I am alone with my thoughts and am touched again. When I’ve been angry, grief always comes afterward. How long that will last, no idea! But I cried it all out again, and then I felt very weak for a while. I also got the feeling again that the entity ready to take me over was repeatedly knocking on my spirit, a psychic attack in other words. But I don’t react positive to that. I’ll have to be careful. These Antichrist entities think that if they hit you hard enough, you will turn from a caterpillar into a butterfly. Unfortunately, that is no longer possible with me because I have never been allowed to be angry. People think: why not do it without anger then? But that anger is the very life force flowing through your veins. If that is very much disapproved of agressively, you lose the experience of your that powerful energy and you also cannot break the cosmic eggshell, or turn from a caterpillar into a butterfly. In short: you also need that part in yourself. The moment I really let go of my family completely, there will be no magical liberation as these idiots think, but I will maybe be so weakened that they can take me over. It is not a pleasant idea, but I’m afraid that I am slowly moving towards this. So I will certainly continue to report on the whole process.
Many people won’t find it very classy for me to make all this kind of drama public. They assume that my family and friends really don’t know about being taken over. Keeping this in mind, it is indeed not very classy what I am doing. But I cannot forget what has happened to all the people around me: the fact that they were all being taken over one by one and that they have let me know this through dozens of affirming hints and are still letting me know it from time to time. This is because they have to honor free will that’s present as a cosmic law on this world. And because I have been privy to the information before, that this is happening in this world, I am very adamant that what I think is correct. Many little hints make one big pile of proof. So it is an exceptional situation, and I think that is reason enough to make this drama (which many will see as private) public. I am convinced that this has also saved me all this time. Because producing texts and videos exposing the actions of these Antichrist entities protects you from their desire to take over your family, friends and at a later stage, you as well. I started too late producing these articles, in this regard. As a result, they have thought that I allow them to take over others. But that was never the intention! So it’s important to be conscious about the presence of these Antichrist entitities, and their way of working and how to counter them. In earlier articles I talk about the ways in which these entities try to treat you, for example in A brief clarification.
